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Because no events in the world are ever random or unexpected, conspiracy theorists have jumped on the death of Antonin Scalia, claiming he was murdered on Obama’s order because reasons.

There are two central points all conspiracy theorists are making to support their case: 1) John Poindexter, the businessman and owner who hosted Scalia at the Texas ranch where he died, said that they discovered Scalia with a pillow over his head. 2) No autopsy has been performed.

Read like a normal human being, neither of these would stand out as being suspicious or having a sinister air, especially when Scalia being 79 years old and overweight with a history of heart problems is taken into account. For conspiracy theorists, they immediately assume that Obama, for some inexplicable reason, would wait until the last year of his Presidency to murder a conservative justice just so he could wind up probably not getting the kind of nominee he would like.


Here was the headline on Drudge Report shortly after Scalia’s death:


And here’s the front page of Alex Jones’s Infowars as of February 16:


The article about the former intelligence officer is fascinating, in that it’s fascinating anyone would give it any credence. The article (now there’s a word I’m using loosely) quotes Ray Starmann, who had this to say:

“The same people who want you to believe Scalia died of a heart attack or natural causes are the same people who want you to believe that Hillary won the Iowa Caucuses with six coin tosses and the same people who want you to believe after fifty years that Lee Harvey Oswald was the lone assassin of President Kennedy,” he writes, adding, “Of course the MSM has reported on none of this. Even Fox News refuses to cover the strange occurrences in Texas.”

Hmm. So in one paragraph we learn that Mr. Starmann believes the Iowa coin tosses were a farce, that Oswald did not act alone in JFK’s assassination (he doesn’t say who else, of course, he need only allude to the popular sentiment), and that the mainstream media, including right-winged Fox News, is in on the conspiracy to cover up this occurrence. What else does Starmann believe?

“Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes. The pillow over Scalia’s head wasn’t put there by a Hispanic maid. The pillow over the head is a warning,” he writes.

Pointless Godfather reference, unnecessary stereotype (why, pray, does the maid have to be Hispanic?), and spooky implication. All fluff. What, for example, is the warning others are supposed to heed? And for whom is it intended? Does Starmann have anything other than his own speculation to assert the truthfulness of his allegations? No. He doesn’t need to. This is conspiracy theorist country. He only has to repeat the same talking points that rile up other right-wingers, and here he is doing just that:

Now that Scalia is gone and likely to be replaced by a leftist activist judge, Starmann fears that the constitution is about to be eviscerated.

“Scalia was the tie breaking judge, the man who could push back any liberal policies being shoved through the court. With Scalia’s death, the Obama Administration or a future Hillary Clinton Administration has a green door to confiscate guns, flood the country with illegals and wreck the Constitution,” he writes.

Talk about hitting all the marks. There is a vast, leftist conspiracy to confiscate guns, allow illegal immigrants to take all the jobs of honest, blue-collar Americans, and destroy the Constitution because it’s there. You could replace any of those things with other favorite right-wing hate topics, such as liberals, homosexuals, blacks, Muslims, women, and it would make about as much sense.

Further, the title of the article implies that Starmann’s opinion on the matter is elevated by his experience serving in military intelligence, but there’s nothing from his experience that leads him to the same conclusion brave internet warriors have reached without that experience. Sites like Infowars constantly decry the evil manipulative ploys of the media to shape how people see the world, yet they engage in tactics far more dishonest than the vast majority of the media they critique.

The article continues:

As we reported earlier, suspicion surrounding the circumstances of Scalia’s death continues to build, with a poll showing 79% of over 40,000 respondents believing there was foul play.

40,000? Wow, that’s a lot of people. And nearly 80% believe there’s some sort of foul play? Gee, maybe I’m just a liberal sheeple who blindly believes what the Jew-controlled lamestream media feeds me. Oh, wait. The poll was conducted here:

conservative outfitters

So it’s not so much a poll as it is a guide to what kind of people use this particular site. It’s about as effective as when Fox asks their viewers if Muslims are people and the answer is a resounding ‘no.’ And what news site is this, exactly? Conservative Outfitters? Is that what I think it is?

conservative outfitters 2

It’s a clothing outlet. For conservatives. In case Levi’s is too commie for you. And they have conservative news stories, because if you’re conservative I guess shopping for sunglasses and left-wing conspiracies about the death of a Supreme Court justice are inextricable.

There’s really no point in trying to convince conspiracy theorists that whatever ideas they have about this event or anything else is nothing short of creating their own alternate universe. Skepticism is fine in small doses, but when it becomes a looking glass through which you see everything in the world, it’s time to step away from the internet and go outside.