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In a grand display of “Oh shit, I was supposed to have a column written for tomorrow,” Principled Conservative© Jonah Goldberg’s latest in the LA Times is a rambling, incoherent grab-bag of junk he’s head about over the last few days (“The World Series, the election, the Oscars. What is going on?” LA Times, 2/27/2017). Gotta love that title. Very Trumpian. “We can’t have another awards ceremony until we figure out just what the hell is going on.”

I’m seriously not going to try deciphering whatever it is Jonah thinks he’s getting at—he mentions the Best Picture debacle, the insanity of the election, teams overcoming seemingly insurmountable odds, the second law of thermodynamics, gee isn’t the world a wacky place, and all the while I think he’s ultimately just trying to wind up here:

Complicated things are… complicated. If you don’t work very hard at keeping them running, the natural order of the universe is for them to break down. Planes don’t “want” to fly, bikes don’t “want” to stay upright and people, markets and institutions don’t always want to behave the way experts in Washington want or expect them to.

Which is also Trumpian: “Nobody knew health care could be so complicated.” (Everyone knew, Donald. Like the people who wrote the 1,000+ page bill, the millions who work in health care administration, doctors and nurses, regular Joes who aren’t rich and so have to actually worry about what their immodestly-priced plan does and doesn’t cover. You know, just to name a few.)

But the “Complicated things are… complicated” line sounds funny coming from someone who subscribes to an ‘ideology’ whose adherents are notorious for simplifying the complexities of the world into neat solutions.

More to the point, Goldberg’s trying to make the case (I guess) that in order to keep the great big machinery of democracy running, work has to be put in to make sure the oil gets changed regularly, the windshield gets a good wiping, and the radiator stays in tip-top shape, to continue with this inane car metaphor I’ve adopted for no particular reason, because that’s what you get when you half-assedly toss the second law of thermodynamics into your op-ed because you felt like it needed to go somewhere.

I’d also like to know what Jonah thinks is his real contribution to society. What it is in his written words that hasn’t contributed to the current crisis we currently find ourselves in. I doubt he could find it, either.